I used to be a freethinker and believe that all religion is the same, I don’t deny the existence of a divine being, just that I do not know who exactly He is or is there more than 1 of Him. Hence, I wanted to find my answer and decided to join the Alpha course. Throughout the whole Alpha course, the idea of faith was a key thing that I always struggled to grasp because I always think in a logical manner and want to have control of things myself. In addition, the message of non-believer going to hell make me not understand how God is loving in this way.
However, I still decide to give God a chance to show me how exactly He can change my life after the end of the Alpha course. I guess it was that moment that God gave me the faith as little as a mustard seed to come to know Him because I knew in my heart I still have many doubts not cleared. At that time, I gave myself a 1-year deadline and received Jesus into my life.
During that period after I accepted Christ, I was in a period of transition. I wanted to work in the social sector and was awaiting my application results but I was not accepted. Hence, I was looking out for a full-time job while working a part time job at that point of time. During that period, my family finances were very rocky and there was pressure from my aunt to get a full-time job as soon as possible. I remember around that time, there was also a bible study class about giving and tithing. At that point of time, I feel that God is challenging me to give my tithes despite the financial pressures I have at that point of time. So I gave my first tithes from my part time job salary I received. Amazingly, immediately after my part time job contract ended, I managed to get a full-time job. What was even more surprising was that they accepted me even though I told my interviewer that I’m not going to stay with them for long! Truly it was a job that God has provided for me and I praise God for that!
Looking back now, I thank God for the opportunity of learning more about who He is through the Alpha course. I’m also glad to be in a environment where I can share openly about my thoughts and questions without being judged. Most importantly, I have seen how God has moved in my life as I stayed open to Him. I am glad to say that whatever I have learnt about Him as head knowledge through the Alpha course, I am now experiencing them as heart knowledge.